I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You smell like stripper and shame
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
