I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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