Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
