we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
