We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
