Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
