My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
