If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just had sex bonerless
i just sent this text using only my big toe
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You were trust falling into bushes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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