marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
These tits shall not be calmed
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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