Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
