Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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