I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am naked and annoyed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
