is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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