If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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