in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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