i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
