I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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