Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
