Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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