Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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