dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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