I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
