Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
is that a dick in a sweater?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
