i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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