I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
