theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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