She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
