3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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