Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
