Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
