I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
