my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
