The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
