it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
