yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
