Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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