Please, let me fuck your mom
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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