I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
