he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
