sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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