If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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