Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
