I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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