Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He kissed a someone with a penis
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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