hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
