1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
