What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
