I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think people are normalizing furries
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
