He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
