the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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