It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
