so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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