There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize