hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can I color on your dick again?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
