Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
