Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
