party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
