One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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